I was warmed with the possibilities...
Shantel Schloss
Issue date: 9/24/08 Section: Spoken Word
I was warmed with the possibilities of once before.
When you called me baby, and said I miss you.
When we would talk for hours,
Our conversations endless.
Frightened with the jinx of children, but warmed by the possibilities of them.
So we did not mention, just hint; to feel the tingle sensation that our love was strong enough to take us where we dreamed of being. Later on, together.
Together then intertwined to Create a being or three of us both, was the warming possibility.
Even the thoughts of holy matrimony crossed over our minds.
We'd swear we'd never be with anyone else,
Or want to be.
I was willing to leave my last name behind because I was warmed by the possibilities and the passion of our love and hearts combined.
Or maybe just my love, my heart.
Because now all my heart does is bleed.
Bleed out my Love.
And it hurts.
It hurts so bad it feels as if you stabbed the center of my soul.
Now all I do is cry and bleed, and occupy my time to numb the pain.
No more am I warmed with the possibilities.
Now I am haunted, tormented, and diagnosed sick of the pain I go through because you left me.
Left me with these half-assed dreams of a better place.
Left me preparing for future lovemaking, or preparing to Create the perfect birthday you've never had.
You have deserted me unexpectedly with nothing but love.
It is now decaying and maybe even processing into hate.
I have cried too much, too much for you to even fathom.
These are the last tears I cry for you.
I am done receiving blows of sharp objects to my heart.
Pain, hurt, and memories of you are all that I feel.
But like God said "All Things Shall Come To Pass."
So I pray to fan away all the pain,
So bled love will discontinue,
So I will cease to cry when I think of you.
I was warmed with the possibilities of us.
Now I am warmed with the possibility of me; hurt, pain, and torment free.
Free from you and I, and our memories.
When you called me baby, and said I miss you.
When we would talk for hours,
Our conversations endless.
Frightened with the jinx of children, but warmed by the possibilities of them.
So we did not mention, just hint; to feel the tingle sensation that our love was strong enough to take us where we dreamed of being. Later on, together.
Together then intertwined to Create a being or three of us both, was the warming possibility.
Even the thoughts of holy matrimony crossed over our minds.
We'd swear we'd never be with anyone else,
Or want to be.
I was willing to leave my last name behind because I was warmed by the possibilities and the passion of our love and hearts combined.
Or maybe just my love, my heart.
Because now all my heart does is bleed.
Bleed out my Love.
And it hurts.
It hurts so bad it feels as if you stabbed the center of my soul.
Now all I do is cry and bleed, and occupy my time to numb the pain.
No more am I warmed with the possibilities.
Now I am haunted, tormented, and diagnosed sick of the pain I go through because you left me.
Left me with these half-assed dreams of a better place.
Left me preparing for future lovemaking, or preparing to Create the perfect birthday you've never had.
You have deserted me unexpectedly with nothing but love.
It is now decaying and maybe even processing into hate.
I have cried too much, too much for you to even fathom.
These are the last tears I cry for you.
I am done receiving blows of sharp objects to my heart.
Pain, hurt, and memories of you are all that I feel.
But like God said "All Things Shall Come To Pass."
So I pray to fan away all the pain,
So bled love will discontinue,
So I will cease to cry when I think of you.
I was warmed with the possibilities of us.
Now I am warmed with the possibility of me; hurt, pain, and torment free.
Free from you and I, and our memories.
2008 Woodie Awards
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
NubianQueen
posted 10/03/08 @ 11:57 PM EST
Hmm, I can really relate. This is really heart felt, I love it!
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